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Drinking Quotes

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What you have to realize is that I just burned two out of my three index fingers.
-- Submitted by Matthew D.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.
-- Lyndon B. Johnson

It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
-- Frederick the Great

My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.
-- A Wolverine is Eating My Leg

One pint of beer ... equals 1/2 college credit in philosophy.
-- Raymond Hankins

Frasier: The wine shop called a moment ago and said they're down to their last two cases of the 82' Chambolle-Musigny. Why don't you dash right down before someone snaps them up?
Niles: You know very well that in 1982 there was a drought in Bourgogne. The locals dubbed it the Year of the Raisin.
-- From the Sitcom 'Frasier'

If you ever reach total enlightenment while
drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out
your nose.
-- Jack Handy

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright

Payday came and with it beer
-- Kipling

According to the 'New York Daily News', bars all across the city are installing breathalyzer vending machines telling people whether they've had too much to drink. Apparently, if you're drunk the machine warns you not to drive, and if you're really drunk, it warns you not to call your ex-girlfriend.
-- Conan O' Brien

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