Cocktails in the Mail-serving you our best cocktails.

Drinking Quotes

1 > 2> 3> 4> 5> 6> 7> 8> 9> 10> 11> 12> 13> 14> 15>main

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
-- Drew Carey

I don't go out with my single friends anymore, because I never have any fun. Go to a club, a guy comes over, says, 'Can I buy you a drink?' 'No, oh no, she's married.' Yeah, I'm married, but I'm thirsty. Why don't you shut the hell up and let me have a free drink?
-- Wanda Sykes-Hall

The Hitchhiker's Guide mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Over the past few years, scientists at Heinz say they've been developing what they say is a revolutionary new kind of baby bottle. It's a baby bottle actually shaped like a woman's breasts. If that's true, forget baby bottles, make beer bottles.
-- Unknown

A cask of wine works more miracles than a church full of saints.
-- Italian proverb

The cocktail party is a device for paying off obligations to people you don't want to invite for dinner.
-- Charles Smith

When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale's because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for three months.
-- Gary Barkin

The new candies get their names from things people exclaim, like, "Bonkers!" or "Nerds!" And I got to thinking...wouldn't it be funny if they based a line of candy on something my dad exclaims frequently? I don't know about you, but I'd get a kick out of candy called, 'Where's the Damned Scotch!'
-- Bob Oshack

If I had a nickel for every beer that I have had through my life...I'd have a lot of money for more beer!
-- JR

1 > 2> 3> 4> 5> 6> 7> 8> 9> 10> 11> 12> 13> 14> 15>main