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Drinking Quotes

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Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big
ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity ... where it is transformed by TV sets into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circuit.'
-- Dave Barry

You guys came by to have some fun.
You'll come and stay all night, I fear.
But I know how to make you run.
I'll serve you all generic beer.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except that which makes the road safer, the old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the
summer, and the beer stronger.
-- Irish novelist Brendan Behan

The federal government is considering a proposal that would update the warning label on beer and other alcoholic beverages. For instance, one of the new warnings says, 'Caution: Excessive drinking could cause karaoke.'
-- Conan O'Brien

I was a horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school: 'Come on, chug it!'
-- David Spade

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink,
especially in a home where you don't
know where the bathroom is.
-- Billy Carter

They talk of my drinking but never my thirst.
-- Scottish proverb

Pour me a cab, I just can't drink no more.
-- Tom Waits

I've noticed the strangest thing about men who
hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only
one of two reasons to be there: They have no
wife to go home to... or they do.
-- Unknown

Drinking is a way of ending the day.
-- Ernest Hemingway

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