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Drinking Quotes

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I told my girlfriend last night how much I
loved her, and she said that I must have
been out drinking again. I asked her why
she would say that, and she said, 'Because
I'm your father.'
-- Dave George

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.
-- Tom Dreesen

Scientists say they have developed a pill that will restore the memory loss you get from drinking alcohol. Of course, if you're married, you won't need this pill because your wife will remind you of every stupid thing you've ever did.
-- Jay Leno

A quart of ale is dish for a king.
-- Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

Some Guinness was spilt on the barroom floor
When the pub was shut for the night.
When out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
And stood in the pale moonlight.
He lapped up the frothy foam from the floor
Then back on his haunches he sat.
And all night long, you could hear the mouse roar, "Bring on the friggin' cat!"
-- Unknown

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat. So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.
--William Butler Yeats

Fermentation may have been a greater
discovery than fire.
-- David Rains Wallace

On the chest of a barmaid in Sale,
Were tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind
for the sake of the blind
was the same information in Braille.
-- Unknown

Ahhhhhhhh!!! Natural light!!! Get it off me!!!
-- Barney, The Simpsons

It is not "just beer," it is a noble and ancient
beverage which, like wine, food and television
advertising, can be extraordinarily good or
unmercifully bad.
-- Stephen Beaumont

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