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Drinking Quotes

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The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls
out of your glass.
-- Martin Mull

I took a drink of water recently, and I want to tell you something. Water is OK to bathe in or shave in, but as a beverage it's a 100 percent failure.
-- Hamper MacBee (moonshiner)

Put it back in the horse!
-- H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says 'You've been brought here for drinking.' The drunk says 'Okay, let's get started.'
-- Henry Youngman

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens? Ha! For me, it's 5 or 6 beers while watching the game; getting so drunk I've forgotten my name. These are a few of MY favorite things.
-- Mike Miles

Woman's Wine Quote: Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with.

Men's Wine Quote: Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

The church is near, but the road is icy.
The bar is far away, but I will walk
carefully.
-- Old Russian Proverb

There can't be good living where there is
not good drinking.
-- Benjamin Franklin

An Irishman is never drunk as long as
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not
Fall off the face of the earth.
--Old Irish toast

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